week 3 redux

Sweet tea that is served during meetings

Week 3 kicked off our major face-to-face client work on the project - we held 2 workshops with the client and got some intense lessons in communicating across cultures.  It definitely was a week to learn to negotiate differences within our own teams, but work through cultural differences with the client as well.  For me, since my brain is usually running on 2 tracks anyway (what's happening and processing what I think someone else thinks is happening), it got really confusing to keep a hold of 6 different people from 5 different countries.  And that was just on my project!  The other team also had similar issues but they came in a different flavor (5 people, 4 countries).  Fascinating stuff.

For my own role in all the goings-on, I can say I was much better at keeping everything at arm's length and not getting so emotionally involved and stressed out (quite an accomplishment for me!).  It's like I could see what was happening but not be *in* it.  I think I did a pretty good job of listening, reflecting and choosing other team members who I felt could use some positive support and giving it to them.  Karen said I'm like The Fun Aunt on the project; later she said I'm the compass who keeps everyone working toward the true north.  Both felt like amazing compliments.  On my CSC application, I wrote that I wanted to learn to take more risks, be more confident and have more fun.   Mission accomplished... and we've still got a week to go.

LtoR:  Paul (US), Ritesh (India), Stephan (Germany), Karen (US)
and the top of Kanako's head (Japan)

Catherine (China) with her green tea

LtoR:  Imane (UAE, our local facilitator), Sheela (India), Felipe (Colombia)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Steve and the kids are back to having a hard time this week.  Alex's behavior deteriorated at school.  When he brought home a famous "choice slip" (meaning lack of good choices, we used to call it a note from the teacher), I ended up having to get on Skype with him to have a discussion about appropriate behavior.  I asked him to go get his choice slip and read it to me, which made him start to cry.  Eventually he said he missed me and just wanted me to come home.  Of course it broke my heart.  I exchanged a few emails with his teacher - bless her for being so good to him - and asked her to give him a hug from me.  Here's what she emailed me back:

I just called Alex up to my desk and we read the last part of your email together.  I told him how proud of him you are and I gave him a really BIG hug!!  I asked him if he wanted to write something to you and he said yes.

Below is Alex's message....

I am having a good day so far.  I am learning about Max and Ruby.  (That's our story this week.)  I love you, Mommy!!!!!!!  (He wanted a bunch of exclamation points.  :)

I hope this brought a smile to your heart!  Hang in there and enjoy your last days over there!

Tell me you read that and didn't feel a pang.  Yeah, made me cry.  Of course it did.   Well, unfortunately, after his good morning, his behavior went downhill again and he had a rough afternoon.  Just one more day left of school until fall break and Mommy comes home... I do hope he can make it through smoothly.  As if that wasn't enough, Steve is now sick and spent Thursday home in bed.  Friday he flat out said he's exhausted and can't wait for me to come home.

The Guilt Demon is trying very hard to visit me.

But... this is a growth experience, for me, for them.  They need to not depend on me so much and I need to have my own life too.  Having been on my own for 3 weeks now has been a fairly dramatic reminder of the extent to which I have so very little space for me.  Even the simple luxuries of getting up, having breakfast and showering without the tumult of the morning routine have felt like a gift.  I even don't get visitors in the bathroom!  Perhaps when I go home, we will all find a better balance.  Eight more days until I find out.  #ibmcsc uae

the coconut man

Here's a little video I made of a guy serving coconuts outside the Spice Souk in Dubai.  Each coconut cost 7 dirham (roughly $2 US) and you get a drink and snack in one!

fun with language

With so much covering of the head here in the UAE, it might seem obvious that many of our team discussions would be concerned with women's clothing.  And, since I've devoted my entire educational and professional career to applied linguistics, it might also seem obvious I'd have a grand time with the linguistic differences among a group of 11 English speakers, some native, some not, from 7 different countries.

One of our more amusing (and long-lived) debates has concerned the appropriate terminology for a large piece of square or rectangular fabric, worn to cover the head, shoulders and upper body.  This debate started when our very sweet Colombian Felipe asked me if I planned to purchase a SHAWL.

"A SHAWL?" I asked, incredulous.  "Um, no, Felipe, I would never wear a SHAWL.  That's for old women."

Felipe, I would soon learn, can be dogged when he is engaged in a debate.

"Yes, it eez a SHAWL," he asserted.

"No," I retorted, "a SHAWL is something worn by an old hag, like the witch from Hansel and Gretel."  And to further illustrate my point, I pantomimed pulling an invisible scarf over my head and then cackled like a witch.  "Like that.  I don't wear SHAWLS."

"Well then, what eez it?" he asked.

"I don't know, a scarf.  A pashmina.  Anything but a SHAWL.  Women under 80 don't wear SHAWLS."

"Noooo, a pashmina is only a certain kind," he said, "these are not pashmina."

Well, this little exchange turned into a poll of the entire team in the middle of an upscale souk during our first visit to Dubai.  As Felipe pointed in the window at an example of the rectangular fabric in question, every team member who sauntered up gave the same answer:  "SHAWL."  Felipe eventually had almost the entire team beside him, laughing, as he filled them in on our debate.  At last, Karen, the only other American woman on the team, strolled up.

"Karen, what do you call this?" he asked, now very animated and laughing with his SHAWL supporters.

"Probably a scarf or pashmina," she said.

"Ah HA!  See that Felipe?" I yelled, laughing. "Karen said pashmina!"

"Ok, what did I just do?"

"Karen, Felipe is trying to say it's a SHAWL."

"Oh noooo, that's not a SHAWL.  SHAWLS are for old women."  At that, the whole team erupted in laughter.

Well, since then, we've debated the color, type of fabric, thickness and usage of the SHAWL, scarf and pashmina.  Every time Felipe sees a sign that says SHAWL, he makes sure I clearly see the label SHAWL and reminds me that the rectangular fabric used for covering the head and upper body is a SHAWL.  A case in point:

Sign in a Dubai souk, seen during our 2nd visit

Ah-hem.  Whatever.

So, in spite of the fact that most of the UAE and the world (as represented by my CSC team) holds an alternative connotation of the lexical item in question, I have not worn, will not wear, nor will I purchase a SHAWL.   At least not until I reach the ripe old age of 80.  #ibmcsc uae

the souks of dubai

Gold Souk gate

When you journey away from the mirrored skyscrapers and twinkling lights, you reach the older, traditional part of Dubai.  We stepped out of the cabs onto a narrow winding brick sidewalk.  In the afternoon, most of the shops are closed against the heat, with metal bars obscuring goods crushed behind smeared glass.  Above, brown and moldy stucco cracked around small second and third-floor balconies hung with limp clothing.  A male cat, his pelvis protruding through thin fur, sauntered around a garbage dumpster.

We wound through the streets to a large wooden gate that announced we had arrived at the Gold Souk. Faiz, in his usual way, struck up a friendly conversation with the first person he saw and found out that most of the souk was closed now but would reopen in less than an hour.  On both sides of the street, under the beamed roof of the souk, gold bangles gleamed in neat rows across every window.  Men with coffee-colored faces and dark eyes stared from under thick brows.  Faiz said there was the world's largest ring at the end of the souk, so we continued on, past a stall with beaded shoes in pastel colors, to a small crowd gathered in front of the window of the last of the jewelry stores lining both sides of the souk.  A sign propped at the bottom of the window announced that the 12 inch high lumpy golden circle with a large clear stone was the world's largest ring.  

Largest ring

We continued on to the Spice Souk, also marked with a large wooden gate.  Barrels filled with a rainbow of colors spilled out of every shop onto the narrow sidewalk.  As we took a few steps, men darted toward us from every side.

"What you want?  I have it here."

"Ma'am, ma'am.  Saffron, I give you saffron for good price."

"Ma'am, how 'bout a purse?"

"You want a purse, ma'am?"

"Saffron, what you like?"

"Come inside, I show you more."

Eventually, Tahir (Canada) would persuade a shopkeeper to sell him large sealed bottles of saffron for 50 dirhams each, since we all agreed the seal seemed safer than buying the stuff filling open barrels.

Entrance to Spice souk

Spices for sale

The souk ejected us onto a larger street along a small waterway called The Creek.  Old wooden boats crowded together as if they were fighting to climb onto the sidewalk.  We walked along the sidewalk toward the abra (water taxi) stop, stepped onto a dock and onto the small wooden boat.  About 25 people crowded onto the raised seat in the middle of the abra around a driver who stood down in a hole next to a wheel.  The smell of gasoline and smoke irritated my nose as the abra began to whir and backed into dark blue water.  Boats raced chaotically across the waterway and we saw 2 clunk together like bumper cars beside us.  The abra deposited us onto a wobbly dock across the creek.

Abras on The Creek

Aboard an abra (driver in blue shirt at right)

In the Textile souk, linens and scarves of every color lined the shelves of the shops.  Abayas with a rainbow of embroidery and beads hung from the walls.  Here men accosted us with the refrain "pashmina, pashmina."  Occasionally a seller would throw a silk scarf over a woman's shoulder as she walked by, cooing "pashmina" in her ear.  We eventually ended up inside the plastic curtain of one shop, where the team would get its first lesson in bargaining.  Kanako (Japan) and Karen (US) bought flat shoes in sparkling with beads.  Felipe (Colombia) and Stephan (Germany) bought silk scarves, but only after the entire team walked toward the door when the young boy behind the counter refused to meet their price.

Textile Souk

"Alright, alright, come back," he said.  "I geeve you 160."  We smiled and winked at each other as the boy gently folded the silk scarves and thrust them into plastic bags.  #ibmcsc uae

vblog series: meet faiz

Faiz is one of our three team members from India - a group critical to our success in the UAE, as you will see in an upcoming post.  I think you could drop Faiz in the middle of the Arctic Circle with just himself, a pair of boots and a screwdriver and he'd arrive back safely in Bangalore just a few days later.  He is incredibly resourceful, a talented artist and has a continuous twinkle in his eye.  Without him, I'm pretty sure the team would still be waiting for a taxi to drag us on some circuitous route, ending at a location far from where we really wanted to go.  He's been teaching me his pragmatic perspective on how the world works, an invaluable gift.  I'd now like to introduce Faiz from India...  #ibmcsc uae

where's leo the lobster? #8

Where's Leo the Lobster?

He's riding on a water taxi (abra) in Dubai
with my friend Tahir from Canada!

Here's a water taxi on Dubai Creek - you can
ride across the creek to the opposite side for just 1 dirham (about 25 cents)

do you... dubai?

After miles of flat white sand stretching out from the highway, suddenly grey rectangles stretch toward the blue sky.  That's when you know you have arrived in Dubai.  As you get closer, the rectangles sparkle in the afternoon sun - long expanses of glass and mirror that, like everything else here, glitter and beckon.  

Dubai is a superlative in a country of superlatives.  Here you find the tallest building in the world, the biggest mall in the world, the largest dancing fountain, the biggest indoor aquarium:  biggest, longest, greatest, best.  It is difficult to find words that adequately describe the level of frivolity and decadence that is Dubai.  Our weekend was filled with the trappings of excessive money.  Here, everything glitters, twinkles and gleams.  

After checking into a modest hotel, we walked 2 blocks to the Mall of the Emirates.  The scale of the mall is astonishing - it contains not only every store you can possibly name from the U.S., Britain, France and every other country worldwide, but an ice rink and ski slope too (that's right, a ski slope inside the mall!).  People scurry to and fro on two floors like ants, weighed down with packages.  Sprinkled in the crowd are women in abaya or burqua - when you can see faces, they are invariably colored with heavy makeup.  Arms and hands are heavy with jewelry.  Outside, South Asian valets scurry to park a Lotus, Rolls Royces, Ferraris.   

Burj Khalifa

Later we would ride an impossibly clean, yet crowded, metro to Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest building.  Tickets to the top, purchased on the spot, are 400 dirhams (roughly $100).  On this night, tickets were being offered for the low price of 125 dirhams, since they were trying to break some sort of world record for the number of visitors.  We opted for photos outside instead.  That evening, we watched the world's largest dancing fountains (the size of five Bellagio fountains!), then sat in an outdoor Lebanese restaurant amidst hundreds of people going about their weekend - eating, walking, drinking and laughing.  I found myself watching a middle-aged woman in an abaya as she inhaled deeply on sheesha, her puffy cheeks filling with smoke, which she exhaled into the air beside her abaya-clad daughter.  

Dubai Mall aquarium

Dubai Mall was much the same - suffocatingly crowded and a scale that is simply overwhelming.  Here a consistent throng is shadowed against the enormous blue wall of an aquarium.  In the deep blue water, several sharks, huge grouper and hundreds of other fish glide around like people along the corridors of bright stores.  A sign from the Guiness World Records certifies that the fish appear through the largest single acrylic pane in the world.  As night falls, red, green, blue and purple neon light up buildings against the blackened sky.  For me, the noise, the crowds, the lights and activity were too much - too decadent, too frivolous, too extravagant.  Dubai is Los Vegas on steroids, NYC in sequins and lights.  I couldn't help but wonder how many children were starving worldwide and what all that money might have afforded them.

The next day, we ventured to the quieter Ibn Battuta Mall and then to Palm Jumeirah, an artificial island shaped like a palm tree and constructed of 94 million cubic meters of sand and 7 million tons of rock just off the shore of Dubai.  At the top of Palm Island is the Atlantis hotel, where we sipped mixed drinks, watched people lounging on white recliners and gazed at the blue sea beyond.  It was a moment of peace in the cacophony that is Dubai.  We took the monorail back into Dubai, gasping at the incredible views of the city.  When multicolor skyscrapers again lit up the night sky, we would take a quick taxi ride to the gate protecting Burj al Arab, the world's most luxurious hotel, from passersby (you must have reservations to be allowed inside the gate) and take a few photos before the long drive back to Al Ain.  #ibmcsc uae

Downtown Dubai, view from highway

Dubai, view from Palm Jumeirah monorail

Homes on Palm Jumeirah

Burj al Arab