week 3 redux

Sweet tea that is served during meetings

Week 3 kicked off our major face-to-face client work on the project - we held 2 workshops with the client and got some intense lessons in communicating across cultures.  It definitely was a week to learn to negotiate differences within our own teams, but work through cultural differences with the client as well.  For me, since my brain is usually running on 2 tracks anyway (what's happening and processing what I think someone else thinks is happening), it got really confusing to keep a hold of 6 different people from 5 different countries.  And that was just on my project!  The other team also had similar issues but they came in a different flavor (5 people, 4 countries).  Fascinating stuff.

For my own role in all the goings-on, I can say I was much better at keeping everything at arm's length and not getting so emotionally involved and stressed out (quite an accomplishment for me!).  It's like I could see what was happening but not be *in* it.  I think I did a pretty good job of listening, reflecting and choosing other team members who I felt could use some positive support and giving it to them.  Karen said I'm like The Fun Aunt on the project; later she said I'm the compass who keeps everyone working toward the true north.  Both felt like amazing compliments.  On my CSC application, I wrote that I wanted to learn to take more risks, be more confident and have more fun.   Mission accomplished... and we've still got a week to go.

LtoR:  Paul (US), Ritesh (India), Stephan (Germany), Karen (US)
and the top of Kanako's head (Japan)

Catherine (China) with her green tea

LtoR:  Imane (UAE, our local facilitator), Sheela (India), Felipe (Colombia)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Steve and the kids are back to having a hard time this week.  Alex's behavior deteriorated at school.  When he brought home a famous "choice slip" (meaning lack of good choices, we used to call it a note from the teacher), I ended up having to get on Skype with him to have a discussion about appropriate behavior.  I asked him to go get his choice slip and read it to me, which made him start to cry.  Eventually he said he missed me and just wanted me to come home.  Of course it broke my heart.  I exchanged a few emails with his teacher - bless her for being so good to him - and asked her to give him a hug from me.  Here's what she emailed me back:

I just called Alex up to my desk and we read the last part of your email together.  I told him how proud of him you are and I gave him a really BIG hug!!  I asked him if he wanted to write something to you and he said yes.

Below is Alex's message....

I am having a good day so far.  I am learning about Max and Ruby.  (That's our story this week.)  I love you, Mommy!!!!!!!  (He wanted a bunch of exclamation points.  :)

I hope this brought a smile to your heart!  Hang in there and enjoy your last days over there!

Tell me you read that and didn't feel a pang.  Yeah, made me cry.  Of course it did.   Well, unfortunately, after his good morning, his behavior went downhill again and he had a rough afternoon.  Just one more day left of school until fall break and Mommy comes home... I do hope he can make it through smoothly.  As if that wasn't enough, Steve is now sick and spent Thursday home in bed.  Friday he flat out said he's exhausted and can't wait for me to come home.

The Guilt Demon is trying very hard to visit me.

But... this is a growth experience, for me, for them.  They need to not depend on me so much and I need to have my own life too.  Having been on my own for 3 weeks now has been a fairly dramatic reminder of the extent to which I have so very little space for me.  Even the simple luxuries of getting up, having breakfast and showering without the tumult of the morning routine have felt like a gift.  I even don't get visitors in the bathroom!  Perhaps when I go home, we will all find a better balance.  Eight more days until I find out.  #ibmcsc uae